Vienna Native Remembered As Skilled Bombardier, "Model Dad" And Husband

Steve Dapogny was for many years a successful naval bombardier and navigator, flying in the A-6 carrier-based attack jet. 

But a few years ago Steve, 50, left the runway and, in his brother John's opinion, took on an even more dangerous role: stay-at-home dad.

When faced with the task, he adapted with ease, as he often did when tackling new challenges, learning how to cook, spending even more time with his three children, becoming an avid mountain biker and perfecting his skills as a home brewer of beer.

It was the last pursuit that took him to Chicago last weekend to earn a masters' certificate in brewing.

Friends and family say they expected Steve to return an expert. But nobody expected a call in the wee hours of Saturday morning with the news he had been hit and killed by a drunk driver.

Steve was crossing the street around 1:15 a.m. and had reached the far right lane when he was struck by a car, a Chicago newspaper reported. Court records show the driver had been previously charged with DUI in 2004; he is currently awaiting trial for Saturday's incident.

"I'm not sure how to paint a picture of Steve that would do justice to his depth of character, parenting abilities, and how so many people from so many different arenas loved Steve for so many different reasons," said his brother John, who lives in Vienna with his own son. "The most important thing I think is that Steve made an impact in the lives of those blessed enough to encounter him."

For about the past two years, Dapogny had been living in Redmond, Wash. with his wife of 25 years, Carol, and their three children, Alexander James, Cynthia Louise  and Margaret Jane Dapogny, said Margot Jones, Margaret Jane's godmother and a longtime friend of the family.

They moved to the area for Carol's promotion, but Vienna is where the family called home for most of their lives, Jones said.

Steve was the sixth of seven Dapogny children who grew up in Vienna on Stonewall Manor, along with their mother and father, a naval aviator.

Steve and John grew up playing football for Vienna Youth Inc., John Dapgony said, a sport Steve later lettered in at Marshall High School, where he was also a star gymnast.

Steve and Carol, a childhood friend, both went to the University of Virginia where they later started dating, Jones said. There, Steve earned an engineering degree. The couple dated about nine years before marrying. When they began to start a family, John Dapogny said, they chose to settle once again in Vienna, the town they loved.

As his kids grew up in the family's house on Yeonas Drive, Steve was active in their lives and in the community. Steve coached for Vienna Youth Soccer for several years, Jones said, even learning the sport as an adult to join the league's parents coed team with Jones and her husband.

"Steve was like a brother to me," Jones said.

He was an avid volunteer at Cunningham Park Elementary School, taking care of groundskeeping and writing the newsletter while also serving as a lieutenant in the U. S. Navy. Steve also began to volunteer with Evergreen Hospice, after being touched by the "compassions and support" they gave his family during his father’s illness.

When Carol got a promotion two or three years ago, the family moved just outside of Seattle, and the way Steve seamlessly transformed into a model stay-at-home dad amazed John Dapogny, he said. Steve became a "wonderful host whose door was always open," he said, whose ears were always attuned to the needs of his family and friends.

"Few people had as broad a range of abilities, interests and insights coupled with a profound sense of humor as Steve," John Dapogny said. "Steve was sought out routinely by family and friends for advice, companionship and humor. He was one of the good ones, and his tragically early death will leave a vacuum in many lives, especially his wife, three children, family and the many close friends he leaves behind for now."

Services for Steve Dapogny begin at 1 p.m. Friday at the Memorial Chapel at Ft. Myer in Arlington, Va. ADVISORY FROM ARLINGTON: There is a parade/review on the grounds Friday at 11 a.m.  Due to the presence of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the President, and others, security will be greatly heightened. Ft. Myer is recommending to carpool as much as possible, to ALLOW PLENTY OF TIME for security check on arrival, and to use the HATFIELD GATE at Washington Blvd. & 2nd Street for entrance, which is approx. 100 yards from the Memorial Chapel. There will be a reception following the service at the home of Margot and Dave Jones in Vienna, Va. Details will be available at the funeral service.